Editorial Reports

I edited my introduction and first body paragraph. I felt that they still needed some work even after editing them last week. I tried to incorporate a questionnaire in some way but I just couldn’t figure it out. I think I did a good job of making the introduction introdution-y, establishing why I am interested in the topic, and adding some important context into my body paragraph.

Editorial Report A

Audience Questions

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

Author Response

Here is my selection from my rough cut and here is my re-edited selection.

1. I added content describing who Francis Galton is and why he is important. I also clarified the end by adding in some parallel-esque-ism - “While Galton was not correct about the key to a better society, he was correct about the interconnectivity of nature and nurture.” I added in some context about the public’s reaction to Galton’s ideas. By adding all these things, I clarified and expanded the information that was already present.
2. I improved the introduction and conclusion to this paragraph. It made the paragraph itself slightly longer. By fitting this to the genre conventions more - clear beginning and end to the paragraphs - I am satisfying the genre convention requirements more.

Editorial Report B

Audience Questions

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

Author Response

Here is my selection from my rough cut and here is my re-edited selection.

1. I added a paragraph and clarified some parts of the introduction paragraph. In these additions, I clarified that nature and nurture are terms I am defining by adding quotations. I also made my credibility more clear. While in reality, I don’t think I am all that credible of a source, I explained my interest and why I am drawn to this topic.

1. I added an entirely new paragraph to explain my vested interest in the topic. I still wanted to separate my stance on the issue from the introduction. So, while I initially had this explanation attached to my introduction paragraph, I ended up separating the two into different paragraphs.