I reviewed Amorah Pratt’s draft and I reviewed Gabby Dietrich’s draft. While Amorah’s was incomplete, it was still very interesting and informative. Gabby’s was finished and really truly very engaging.
1. What did you learn about your own project (or the project in general) by comparing drafts of the same project in different genres?
I learned that I need to be more engaging. Both drafts that I read were interesting, illustrative, and informative. They inspired me to work on my word choice and improve my presentation of information.
2. I want you to plan on doing revision between now and our next class meeting on Tuesday. Tell me the top three issues or problems with your draft in its current form and what you plan on doing over the weekend to address those issues.
- Lack of interest
- Overuse of Hyperlinks
- Poor use of background information
I am going to reduce the number of hyperlinks I use to the most important and most relevant sources. I am going to add more colorful and engaging information. I am going to explain the positions and importances of each stakeholder more clearly and add photos.
3. Tell me the top three strengths of your draft. How/why are these things strengths? How will you build on them to make the rest of the draft as strong?
I did a lot of research. While it wasn’t presented concisely, the information is there. The hyperlinks provide a lot of useful background information. I can sort out some of the hyperlinks and include more information within the QRG.
I have a good organization of ideas. The headlines are interesting and engage the reader. I need to support these with more relevant information in the body of the paragraphs.
There is a lot of time and location information included. This gives the reader a good idea of the situation. However, the presentation is a little bit boring. I can improve on this with better word choice and better visuals.
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