Editorial Reports

I edited my introduction and my first body section. I flushed them out, improved the flow, and overall communicated my ideas more effectively. I also switched around the presentation of ideas so that the introduction only introduces the topic, not my argument.

Editorial Report A

Audience Questions

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

Author Response

Here is my selection from my rough cut and here is my re-edited selection.

1. I didn’t think my writing flowed well and the second paragraph introduced my stance which I decided I don’t want to do. After peer reviewing other people’s introductions, I found that I really liked the simple presentation of the argument without introducing your stance. So I took that out.
2. It began as two paragraphs but I reduced it to one. When it was separated it didn’t really function as an introduction. It was too choppy and didn’t seem to fit the genre conventions very well.

Editorial Report B

Audience Questions

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

Author Response

Here is my selection from my rough cut and here is my re-edited selection.

1. I expanded the content a lot. I included an introduction to where the debate began which I think is incredibly important in establishing context. I also added a lot more analysis and explanation of the evidence I used. When I first wrote my rough cut I felt a little confused about how I could expand on this information but I actually found it pretty easy to write more. I think I communicated my stance and the context of the argument much more effectively.
2. I added a paragraph and lengthened the paragraphs that were already there. I included more introduction to quotes and more analysis after those quotes. This presents the content more effectively because it walks the reader through the thought process of why the evidence matter (like an essay is supposed to) in a way it didn’t before.